Joe Balloni - Final Project

Frustrations of the Confused and Trapped

Classic Hollywood has slipped into a decline and the independent filmmaker is making a new rise. Everything happens in cycles. Even Hollywood sees cycles. These cycles show a variation between big production Hollywood, the closest we've seen being THE GODFATHER and CHINATOWN, and small independent filmmakers spilling their dreams and stories to the audience. The late 1960s and early 1970s experienced this rebirth of the independent. Studios saw the fresh talent, they saw the public's positive reaction, and therefore invested in these nobodies. Its surprising how this time became a launch pad for a many of the young and aspiring, including the likes of Spielberg (JAWS) and Woody Allen (ANNIE HALL).

My film, titled HAZY BIKER, was to be a parody and homage to Dennis Hopper's EASY RIDER. I choose this film specifically because of its deep message of freedom and the struggle to obtain it. And I can say that in my life, freedom comes in small amounts. When you can only work from school deadline to deadline a sort of trapped feeling develops. Is it really possible to drop college and just leave, leave the state, the country, leave everything and start new? Do I have that
freedom? Sure its an option, but is it a realistic option? I'll argue no, not with debt, and the money Ive already invested in the semester.

So I am trapped in a sense, and thats why Hopper's story hit home. But in EASY RIDER, Wyatt and Billy escape. They sell a large amount of drugs, funding their way, a cross country chopper revving trip. The intent of their journey is to find freedom, search it out, instead of waiting for it to come ring the doorbell. And I want to say that my doorbell doesn't work. My doorbell hasn't invited anything new into my life. So I've taken it upon myself to go find it, get off the couch, turn off the TV, and live. Because unless you're doing, you're only observing. And I can do all the observing I want when I'm dead, having nothing to do but watch down upon the world.

When I look back and ponder on what Ive learned in this project, it evokes frustration and weariness. This was my first attempt at creating a scripted piece of film. This was my stab in the dark. This was my struggle to over come obstacles that have never before barred my path. You can call it all a failure. A failure because shots were not framed as I had envisioned. You could call it a failure because as a director I could not get all peoples involved to collaborate. You
could call it a failure because just plainly, the film was never completed.

I took this project with the greatest of intentions. To film something better than the rest of the class. To make a storyline, skewing the already amazing EASY RIDER. Instead I was given a quick and very painful insight into the life of film production. It has become so clear how important each individual roles of a film are. Because I wasn't just a director. I was a script writer, a caster, a set designer, a costume designer, and an editor. I was the entire production. And these shoulders cannot handle that much weight. Some say the weight is a gift, but I couldn't even get the bow off.

Still I feel it is worth trying to explain the whole of my experience rather than speaking in generalities. It all beings with a script. This was done late, to say the least. Brainstorm sessions occurred the day before the rough draft was due. This is a testament to procrastination, on my part and on part of the seemingly impossible task of getting my group members together. So I had friends, not group members, help me out in this task. And I won't lie, I was excited. We
came up with a lot of good dialogue. Quality was the aim, and I think we achieved it. The script reflected the feelings and frustrations of our generation, yet set within the EASY RIDER mold.

It pitted my best friend Alex and I against the city of Milwaukee. We were to find freedom on the swift transit of our bikes. Not choppers like in EASY RIDER, but chains, pedals and sweat. Milwaukee became our playground. To meet and find peoples who don't it the mold. Peoples who have found happiness and freedom somewhere other than the 9 to 5. Somewhere outside of the suburbian household. Because thats not where I belong. I refuse to take part in the cubicle
life. I will find something else. I will find people who live for mysterious reasons, mysterious only because of its deviation from the norm. The attempt was to clear that mystery, all questions answered. History shows a different outcome. Not all the scenes were filmed.

Lack of time, lack of patience, lack of cooperation. This was a train wreck, and all I could do was watch it all burn. About half of the production was completed, and edited. The scenes that were shot are scattered and would make no sense as they are. Thus I don't feel its worth trying to polish what I've got, it will still be a lump of coal no matter how clearly it shines.

As a final note, I know that there are places in this paper that lack proper English. I know that some sentences are run ons, and some are fragments. But these are my words. This is the way I think, and I talk, and I convey what is on my mind. The rules of literature shouldn't be rules. They are merely a means to organize and help standardize written thought. If there exists a means to convey without these rules, then should this other way be considered wrong? And there are no sources, I didn't read a book. I didn't try to rewrite what someone else said. I didn't even try. Its not important. What is, is my words, what I've learned and will walk away with. Even though I failed, its the loses that are the most rewarding. I walk away knowing so much more. And I can say with confidence and enthusiasm that this class was worth my time. I grew as a person and I'll keep on growing after. So just remember, red pens don't add anything more than blotches on a page, covering up and distracting from the true message and words. Just try to understand.